jiaying. (:
fifth april.

family, friends & dance

HCMAD<3 07S79 adeline ann audrey ainan bertilla charmaine cherylchang clarice estelle ezra huitian jess jiayi jiayun joanne kelvin liuqian meiling mianrong mieoteng nicholas nicole qianying ruixiong sherene serene shionyee siyu stacy tisiana tingyu thomas vanessagoh xianhuan xiyu xueen yueyang yunning
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let's chase the summer and forget the world.

you are back. i am feeling so so so relieved.

i am feeling so so sad suddenly. like really sudden. for no reason. nicole is feeling the exact same way as me. sigh.
it's with everything in life i guess. realisation of how much i actually dont know. and how typical a life i am currently leading. mundane. borring. sometimes certain things that happen will make me happy. like dance. kap outings. i dont know. but after that things will stay the same. zouzhao asked me the other day why do i always look so sad. do i? chit said that to me before too.maybe it's this resignation to life. and the way time is passing by so so fast. so fast that sometimes i feel that i cant catch up.
okay this is like such a moodswinggy post. i dont know whats wrong with me. and i sound so damn incoherent. ah whatever.
recently i have been realising how important you are to me.
yes i need a big hug too nicole <3

i reallyreally want to smile;

i've just realised, much to my horror there are so many gays around. and they are like always at places like orchard and stuff. that means, all around us. so freakky. jiayi told me of another gay blog today. i was reading, then one of them said this:" you hate us because you fear us, you fear us because you dont understand us."
yeah. i seriously dont understand the reason behind such. actions. well. remind myself i should not be so discriminating. people can do whatever they want. it's a free society(:

dance tmr! hope it will be fun. but xueen is not coming ):
time is passing by so so fast;

are you alright? god i am so worried over you.

i want our times together so much;

i took this quiz which i thought was kind of funny. and i accurately got nanyang! haha are nanyang girls all that typical. okay never mind. go take it! then see what you get. but actually it's kind of fei4 cos i tried like somemore times just clicking on random answers. like there's this qn what is ur sch most known for. i put chinese. then this which boy school are the people in ur school most attracted to. i purposely put ri. then result: rgs. like whatever. haha more tries on thie quiz caused me to come to a conclusion. it doesnt matter what you click for the rest of the questions. the main question is that one about the boy school. there're three options. acsi ri and hc. click acsi, you'll get mgs. ri, you'll get rg. hc, you'll get nanyang. -.- like, whatever.
times have changed. not all nanyang girls are attracted to hc anymore. AND NOT ONLY nanyang girls can be attracted to hc. (: yeah. thats about it for this super lame quiz. entertaining though :p

went kap with the dancers this afternoon! jiayuan jiayi meiriew chit marianne estelleee! hmmm it was quite fun. if only my stomach didnt hurt so much. i would have enjoyed today. sigh.
i love shaker fries!<3

you keep me alive;

i went to this blog which zouzhao told me about.this guy.from across the bridge.
apparently a secfour too.sodamn freakingg gay.
im totally grossed out by him.

okay! had dance today! :D eileen were making us the secfours pose some dance poses for her to take photos! then she would go crop away the background or something. put into the moderndance page for grad mag. i love the sec threes <3 thanks for putting in so much effort into the grad mag for us. so like perhaps, fifteen years down the road we would flip through Reminiscene'06 and remember nymd- the very best of our nanyang life(:
i totally love modern dance.
i was like thinking. i wouldnt be who i am today without modern dance. dance takes up such a significant part of my life. not just because of the enjoyment we get from it, but one really important thing are the bonds and friendships forged between the dancers. we know we can always count on each other. having them around always give me a sense of security(: also, we learnt so many things through nymd. sure, sometimes we may grumble and complain. but in our hearts we all know for sure we love nymd<3 and we are all so so soproud to be a nyg modern dancer(: whee.

after school was at the busstop when the bus totally ignored me and went off. then all the other buses came one after another, everyone left, leaving me alone with xueen! dear xueen! SEXYYAE XUEEN WHO HAS A SEXXAYE BUTT :D haha she kept me company while i was waiting for that 154. then we got caught :x by ahem cos we were not properly attired. so scary.

those eyes that burn into mine;

they cheat my feelings. we're not watching dead man walking today! GRR. instead, we got to do this BLAHBLAH webquest on elections and do srq and argumentative essay. huh?

take charge;

i haven came online for the past three days! what an accomplishment(: had been having test after test for the past three days. monday,bio. tuesday,chem. today,chinese! (: hope i wont do too badly. lets praypray. anyway thanks to everyone who were tagging even though i wasnt here(:
nicole! xue! jess! carin! <3
okay anyway the math test thing. i dont need to get over it. cos like what i said, i feel completely nothing. sometimes i think im so void of emotions. well, im trying to be reallyreallyreally attentive during lessons these days. like math. which requires alot of selfcontrol man(:
anyway today we watched dead man walking for lang arts(: it was a good show! haha finally one with subtitles. easier to understand. watching it again tmr,whee.

okay im just rambling away with random stuff. so what has been happening! oh yah how can i forget. MONDAY MORNING. ZHIYANG WAS AT SCHOOL! :D WHEE. haha thanks nicole patricia and jessica for rushing to 403 to tell me about it in the morning!(: anyway he was like signing and signing. taking photographs. whee damn cool. wanteng and i were like at the podium. i wanted to scream la. but i thought it was rather unbecoming of us to do that. i'll probably get killed or get six demerit points or something if i really do that. anyway nicole said i looked so composed HAHA i was reminding myself of BIO TEST. cannot get distracted AH(: anyway the whole school was buzzing with (excitement?) during flagraising HAHA the teacher had to remind us to settle down. not fair HAHA HE CAME ON CHIT'S BIRTHDAY! why didnt he come on the fifth of april. OH WELL. and now the whole world got his autograph too. WELL i shall comfort myself by telling myself HE WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFTERALL :D
haha he kinda brought some excitement and made a difference in nanyang on an otherwise, mundane monday morning. speaking of that, today's chinese test was saying about what a mundane boring life most of us lead. like how we study, go home, do homework, sleep. wake up, study, go home, do homework, sleep. i hate routines.
sometimes all we need is just a spark in our life. to brighten it up and make it more interesting(:

************************

my mother saw me on the computer typing away. listening to music. smsing. she was pissed. whats her freaking problem? then she threatens to cut off my phone line. wtf. i was happy today. after chinese test cos it will be a week till physics. then SHE has to RUIN MY MOOD. sometimes i reallyreallyreally dont understand why does she have to do that. just like how she doesnt understand ME. NOT AT ALL. i need her to sign my math test. i bet she's so gng to kill me. she'll definitely use it as a excuse (reason?) to ground me from the computer. NAG AND NAG when i sms. COMPLAIN when i sleep late. WTF.
i want to curse. (selfcontrol man jiaying.)

************************

physics test next friday. nine topics. how wonderful. dont know how to start studying, but i better start off early! chinese midyrs are coming up. the eighth of may. may be stopping dance for sometime. and xueen and the rest are not coming for dance starting from this week. HOW GREAT. WE ARE PROBABLY GOING TO DIE.

speaking of physics, i just realised today that alot people are gng to take PHYSICS in jc. howhowhow. i hate physics la. but it sucks to be the only one taking bio. i better go and strive to TRY to like physics. i doubt im gng to succeed though. at present, the very thought of physics (with all the magnets and dc motor and ac generator and solenoid. EEE.) makes me freakk. but i shall TRY(: and i hope it wont be too late. PHYSICS IM GNG TO LOVE YOU.


nicole: are you alright dear? REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE ALRIGHT. MISS YOU DEARIE <3 finally got to talk to you online tonight(:
xue: i will MISS YOU PEOPLE LA. come join us if you can okay. haha and xueen, THAT might not be THAT ideal(: HAHA and i updated! :D
jess: I UPDATED HAHA AND YES THE BREEZE OVER AT HWA CHONG WAS NICE(:
carin: hi carin! :D the IT PRO. haha.

miss you want you need you so;

sometimes it doesnt matter how much you've put in, how much you've been praying, how late you've stayed up to study. sometimes it just doesnt matter. nothing does. when you just cant do it. i totally flunked my math test. it's such a joke, failing both tests in semester one. woo. double weightage too. face it, i just cant do math. ever since kindergarten man. hopeless at math. cant get these numbers and whatsoever. hopeless.

the most ironic thing is okay, shocking when the mark comes. then after all that nothing happens. numb, numb to everything. no tears no screams no shrieks. no reslove to do well for the next test. no heartache over the lost marks. no, nothing. just complete numbness.

i dont want to study anymore. im just not cut out for it.

i've lost all hope in math.
nicole, dont be sad over your math. you still got a long way to go. jiayou my darling. you know you can do it. you can do well. if u ever feel sad over ur math again, just remember jiaying sucked at math too. hopeless at it. ure only in sec two. you got a longg way. so dont ever be bogged down by it anymore yeah? love babe.

watched burnthefloor yesterday. only half the show since we only paid half the price. bah. it ended so abruptly. haha but it was precious time together with the dancers! like how often will sec ones sec twos sec threes and sec fours all get together for a show for lunch and spend time together? haha i think this will be the only time probably. but oh well better than nothing(: OH YAH! we celebrated chit's birthday with a firehouse happy birthday at swensens! like sang happy birthday song so loud. chit says she wants to dig a hole and hide in it, or something like that. (ykonw that chinese saying) hahaha everyone was looking at chit! HEY you should feel honoured the whole of swensens at suntec city yesterdat afternoon were celebrating your birthday with you okay! :D WHEE. and we gave chit her birthday present! which meisiew made it so obvious it was for chit on the way there when like everyone can look at whats in the gift box except chityin lol. chit's present is a jacket from ip zone it's very nice! hope you like it chit! haha sat with marianne nicole and meisiew during the show! we refused to move even though they were seats further down and closer to the stage. cos we had the perfect unblocked view. and i realised how important it is to stick to what you think and not follow the crowd. you'll end up happier. nymd<3

reached home close to eight. i fell asleep at ten! goodness me. now i woke up and feel so scared. i haven done so many things! like, studying bio for example. haven come online to talk to nicole<3 ): AHH. i feel so so unaccomplished. somemore my grandmother did not seem very happy with me yesterday somehow. maybe cos i went home late. and my mother is gng for work the whole of today, leaving us at home with that BLAH. shucks la. i should have been a little bit more hardworking yesterday. shld have woke up and swept the floor or something. at least read some bio. i hate feeling so lost.

i just heard thunder. it's 12midnight. it's going to rain
i love the rain.
it makes me feel so comfortable, so safe, so secure.
it makes the rest of the world, the unhappiness fade away.
the smell of the rain makes me smile(:

haha thankyous gng out to chit<3 carin :D hilary! and nicoleeee!<3

nicole, i really didnt know i can make such a difference. thanks for trusting in me, believing in me. cheering me up. yknow what? i always think about weird stuff too. like how when i watch tvee while others will be staring at the main lead sometimes i'll just let my eyes wander to look at like the scene or whatever. i think im really weird too. haha, so we are of the same kind darling(:

since carin told me to blog abit stupider. okay carin i shall say what would I bring along with me if a fire breaks out. im not really sure. one will be my pillow(: HAHA. and i wont let my phone leave me. ever again. not another blow.

burnthefloor tmr. suntec. dancers time together(: lovelove<3
CHIT SURPRISE SURPRISE :D

i've been trying to smile today. really. but yknow sometimes you just dont feel like smiling. then random moments you will just stare into space and stone for minutes. not thinking of anything at all. and, sometimes you see your friends joking around and laughing crazily. in your heart, you share their joy and laughter. if it was any normal times, you would have been laughing along too. but just this time, just for the sake of smiling, you smiled. it seemed like at that point of time you should smile. everyone's happy. you shldnt ruin the whole mood and atmosphere. you shouldnt even explain and try to express the deep hurt youre feeling. cos you know they wont understand. whats lost may never return.
above basically sums up all i've been doing today.

how many times have you actually fallen asleep and woke up realising you've been crying?

nicole and i promised each other to smile. no matter how bad things always turn out. no matter the many uncertainties in our lives. no matter how many fake people we always face. no matter how many things which make us feel so bad yet we must brave up to them and conquer them.
i just realised how weak i actually am, nicole.
but im trying hard to let go.

SOMETIMES I ALSO WONDER AT MY SANITY. IT'S JUST A PHONE. the sense of loss is so so great. i cant help being bogged down by it. it's like this heavy burden on my shoulders. in some moments, i think it's not only because of the phone. it's because of the things you see everyday. how i live my life like a daily routine. how depressing it is when you cant get what your teacher has been droning on about. how useless you feel when you dont even understand the questions of the test. how demoralising it is to even know for sure youre gonna fail when you haven even gotten it back.
you cant find any zest in whatever you do. doing things mechanically. void of emotions and feelings. just want to be alone and think. when ure not actually thinking much, just mourning over the loss. i want to get it off. but apparently it doesnt. it's so overwhelming that today when someone just went a little bit fierce to me without intending to do that, i actually found tears running down my cheeks. but apparently i wouldnt let anyone know.
i tried to let others know how im feeling. but not many people understand. some just exclaim over the loss. some went like, never mind la you can always get another one. some think it's no big deal. some ahh-ed and ooh-ed and thats it. some say hey cheerup and walk away.
it has always been like this.
i dont blame them in the sense that sometimes you just dont get it whats jiaying's problem. it's only a phone, for goodness's sake.
it's so hard to find someone who understands the pain im undergoing through. it may be just a phone. but it's like a reallyreally important part of my life. not only the messaging and calling part. but also because it was mine, and i loved it.
no matter how hard i try not to think about it anymore, the pain still stays.
next time you see me smile, chances are im still feeling so hurt deep inside.
but im trying. im trying to letgo.

life is about letting go;

Where'd You Go?
-Fort Minor

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Hallowe'en with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you'll can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...


so many things has been happening these few days. and it's only wednesday. i feel so tired. really really tired. i was stoning, thinking. feeling.
if only, i had held on to it a few seconds longer, the thief wouldnt get a chance to lay his hands on it.
of only, i had not been so lazy and put it into my pocket, it wouldnt have been taken away.
of only, i had bothered to treasure you more, i wouldnt be feeling so miserable now.
if only.
im so exasperated with myself. why why is it that i must always lose things before i learn how to treasure? when will i learn?
come to think of it. it wasnt others' fault . it was my mistake. people like me ought to learn.
my bluetooth my mp3 my radio my photos my songs my ZHIYANG SONGS my photo of NICOLE'S BEAR my nicenice camera my memories of the cruise my photos of my birthday and bday presents and my cake in the canteen and my cake with the dancers at kap.
I LOST THEM ALL.
my heart really hurts when i think of it.
im avoiding this thing. im running away.
nicole. i feel so upset inside. but i promise you, i will try to smile. remember what you promised too (:

**********************

jolene: we are so proud of you. five awards! plus two scholarships. you definitely deserved them. everyone was so proud of you. marvelling at you, feeling happy for your achievements and knowing full well you will go far. of cos, the dancers were feeling sad too, cos you've moved on. youre such an all-rounder, yet you are always so humble and unassuming. you are a great senior. thanks for everything, ever since i was in sec one. the smiles the waves. the encouragement you always have for us, your juniors in dance. the support you shown me during dance camp06. and of coc, the wonderful times we had together as one exotique during dance camp05.
although u probably wont be reading this, i really want to say. we love you so much.

**********************

in times like this,
youre the only one who can bring a smile to my lips;

today is such a damn damn disastrous disgusting day EFF.

to the damn thing who had the guts to STEAL MY PHONE
you damn thing you better watch out. what is your damn problem that you cant resist the temptation od being a nasty THIEF. thats what you are. A THIEF. people like YOU ought to be arrested by the police and locked behind bars i tell you. you damn thing. MY PHONE WAS MY LIFE. camera, video, bluetooth, mp3 and all that. how do you want me to live without it now. AND FOR YOUR DAMN INFORMATION I JUST CHANGED IT. perhaps thats why you cant resist it huh? YOU WANT YOU JOLLY WELL GO GET ONE YOURSELF OR PLEAD OR BEG OR WHATEVER. many things you can do without resorting to THEFT. i wonder how were you brought up. how did you grow up to be such a !@#$%&^(* freak. apparently people like you haven gone thru education. you ought to march yourself into changi prison right now and learn how to be HUMAN. people like you are such a disgrace to our society. do you know what you've done has caused me so much misery. so much tears. YOU FREAKING ASSHOLE. YOU SUCKER you better watch out for even though i cant catch you, you will come to no good end. one piece of advice for you, you can search your conscience (which is the least you can do) and bring MY phone to the police station right NOW or to the security at wisma atria (the place where YOU stick your nasty fingers out to take something thats NOT YOURS). although i really really hate you, i will be really grateful to you. and i will admire you for your courage to turn back and walk onto the correct path. and something which you may have already realised when you finally decide to on my phone, I LOCKED BOTH THE PHONE AND THE SIM CARD. so you cant gain access to ANYTHING even if you changed sim card or whatever. so u can be nice and just pretend you found it and give it back to the security or the police. of cos, if you choose to stay what you are- A NASTY THIEF, i have another alternative for you. you better watch your every step. i will pray every night, for you to get your just retribution. YOU WILL PAY.

BAH. math test first period tmr. gawd, how am i gng to survive math. im like, a total failure at math. ever since the innocent days of kindergarten. i've forgotten if we did math in nursery. but if we do, i was at failure at math then too. seems like i can never get the numbers and the link between the. just 10 letters. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0. makes my life so hard. BAH. i realised i keep bahhing nowadays. haha maybe it's influence from nicole(: ANYWAY, msn just signed me out. and now im attempting to get the connection back. maybe even msn knows i shld go mug math now instead of gng online. okay. i shall be determined today. im gng offline. at 1030. seven minutes later.

oh btw! today there was this big and apparently, super tall TREE which fell! i think due to the heavy rain or what. then i was on my bus and i fell asleep. woke up and realised im still at the same stop. looked at my phone. ONE HOUR HAS PASSED. what a pro tree. took up three or four lanes, i've heard. so many cars and buses stuck. it was a sight. then this junior of mine and i got down the bus, walked walked walked all the way to pei hwa primary where her father is waiting and off i went to jurong east mrt station. the walk there was pretty cool, with so many cars and buses. not moving at all, and when they do, their displacement increases by 1cm. haha. we on the buses can get down, but i wonder what those people in the cars gng to do. what if they were in a hurry? it's pretty amazing how much one tree can do to affect so many people's lives :D

come on jiaying. BUCK UP. practice math. take a leaf from nicole's book! NICOLE DEAR YOU DID THIRTY SUMS. SO PRO. gimme some tips as to how to concentrate darling! <3

everyone seems to be having math test tmr. to these unfortunate people who sadly includes me, goodluck :D

with the whisper of the wind;

okay i spent the past three days of my life immersed in chemistry sia. argon and carbon monoxide. bah. haha. anyway we did a website haha thankyou to yangge for being such a great help! :D

i had an overdose of chem sia. been sleeping at 3AM the past two nights staring into the comp typing and typing AND TYPING AWAY. bah. now got MATH! ):
life had seemed to be only about chem sia for the past few days, meeting xinying and zouzhao everyday from morning till night.. so much that that i hadnt had much time to think about anything else. shall sort out my thoughts!

math test on tuesday BEFORE RECESS. BAH. 2.4km run EIGHT ROUNDS around the track. i dont know how am i gng to survive week 5. UGH

"the sec fours are leaving soon.i don't want them to go, especially JIAYING <3.by then,there will be no jiaying to brighten up my every single day, no vanessa to lead us for ballet warmups, no sharon to yell at us, no jiayuan to collect our money, no helen for the funny moments, no yunning for her pestering for us to clean the studio, no joanne for her lovely grins, no meisiew for her scary thin-ness, no xueen for her sensible-ness and finally no jiayi for her coolness.

SIGH.we've just gotten to know them and bond with them, and now, in a matter of months, they're leaving us.just think of it.nymd will be so wierd without them."



in response to dear nicole's post, nicole! ur post is making me so depressed ): hmm. sec four life is only left with a few months more to go. sometimes i want wish time would freeze. it seems just like only yesterday when we stepped into the impressive building of nygh. when the psgls lead us up to our sec one classrooms. when we look everywhere and find unfamiliar faces staring just as blankly back at you. but as time passes, we got to know one another. my lower secondary life spent as a niner, was unforgettable. no doubt there were quarrels, conflicts etc etc. we did had a lot of fun. but just when the class spirit and all was at its highest peak, sec3 came. we had to split. we cried and all, but we moved on. so off we go to our new classes. new combinations, new classmates new teachers. different people different stuff we face, different pathways leading to different lives. 303-oh-five. a entire new class with a great variety of people. we feared, we hated, but now we love. 403-oh-six. no doubt one very unique class. never gotten praised at being good and all by teachers. more than enough bad stuff we hear about ourselves, but this is what make us unique. and what makes 403 so memorable. it isnt just a typical goodygoody class. it has character. we do what we want. we try our best. sometimes we just couldnt meet all expectations. but mrs soh said, LOOK TO CREDIT. we tried afterall. we are happy. at least we are happy(: thats what matters.

it seems like not long ago, the very first time i set foot into the dance studio. from outside, it looks professional. but scary. and cold. ms chan trained us, with shoulder stands hundreds and crunches and this sort. with technique classes. when she told us she had to leave, we cried. mr raj came. with an entirely different style. the first time he came, all of us were so scared. we dreaded him. if i dont remember wrongly we did attempt asking ms yeo to change an instructor. LUCKILY SHE DIDNT. he was the one, who taught us everything. not only about dance, but about life as well. he taught us what matters in a dance. how important it is to let the audience enjoy watching you. what we learnt in the studio, so so precious. his scoldings were no doubt, memorable too. making us do pumpings and more pumpings. screaming shouting making people cry. but it was thru all that that we learnt. the past few days and weeks, i go around blog surfing. and i find dancers' blogs filled with memories and love for HFOS. our first ever dance production, brought us all together as one. those nights, we did our bestest best. we gave it all. those nights, we shined. we made magic. each and every single one of us. the unity and togetherness felt was overwhelming. but all good things come to an end. the curtain closed, on us. on the big lovely hat. im sure it must be something really really wonderful which can make us think about it every now and then and make us miss it(: it's something we will never forget. it made a big difference in all our lives. although it has been months since the production, all dancers would like to relive every single moment of it. every single moment on the stage(: the memory always lives on. no doubt, when we leave, we will bring the precious precious memories of HFOS with us, everywhere we go. motivating us. reminding us there's always nymd. i cant imagine what will happen if i made a wrong choice then in sec one. where would i be now? i wouldnt have known this lovely big family. my dancemates<333 the dance studio, so so pretty. our home. our sweat blood and tears. fun joy and much laughter. LOVE. juniors! please do treasure ur time here in nanyang and in nymd. contribute ur very best. do nymd proud(: and be proud to be a part of this lovely big family(: always remember us. the sec fours seniors will support all of you always ;D hmmm. also, like what mr raj says, for whatever you give to dance, it will repay you tenfolds ;D LOVE NYMD.

nicole!: I WILL MISS YOU DARLING. lets treasure the few months we have left! lovelovelove<3

SRQ timed trial tmr.
come on, meet your doom.

im back! ;D cruise was okay. not as exciting as it seemed. haha and the ship turned out not very big. although the facilities and everything were like, wow. they werent many teens. like, youths. haha all grannies and ah gongs. i think it wld be more fun with more people. like, youths. haha. but i love my cabin! i shared it with my cousins and my sister. it's fascinating how they can squeeze FOUR beds into such a small cabin. like in some rich fellow's landed property, the size of a washroom. and there is this pull-down bed kinda thing which we can pull down from the ceiling to make a bed and then with the bed beneath it it makes a bunk. haha thats cool ;D and the view from the ship was breathtaking, the sight of the bluee sea and waves and nothing all around but the ocean. it was a marvellous feeling. haha. and i spent alot of time staring into the sea. i think it's like so romantic. and yes we saw the sunrise and all ;D and yesterday afternoon we went swimming. lol. then shihui(my cousin) and i were supposedly suntanning then we fell asleep! haha, but it was fun. got scolded after that though cos the adults supposedly searched the whole ship but couldnt find us, like we are so irresponsible like, huh? one thing that spoils this trip was the adults' constant nagging. like please, we can take care of ourselves. and obviously we wont be stupid enough to flung ourselves overboard. so can you stop insisting we follow u wherever you go, like thats so lame. oh well. haha and we couldnt exactly find things to do on the ship, because of what i said, the lack of YOUTHS. HAHA we keep eating and eating and eating! i think i've gained like 10kg at least from all the eating. we ate till we wanted to puke la, seriously. like theres early breakfast, breakfast buffet, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, supper. LIKE WAH. yesterday there is this BBQ PARTY by the pool somemore. haha when we spotted more YOUTHS. HAHA my cousin and i were practically acting crazy like CRAZY. oh i watched final destination three yesterday on the ship! it was a midnight show starts at 12.00midnight till like 1.45am. so bloody. luckily shihui watched before so i was like practically hiding behind her all the way. haha. and oh! when the ship is really far out into the sea, the water is like so so so clear and everything. so nice! uh! the window from my cabin lets me see the sea. i discovered a new love for the ocean<3

okay! and before my trip on friday. something amazing happened. the dancers went to kap and they said they want to go cold storage to check out prices for the funfair then they returned with a birthday cake! haha thankyou dancers much lovelove<3 i was really really REALLY surprised. when helen "revealed" the thing she was holding i almost fainted. from surprise and joy, obviously. i seriously didnt expect it. i thought it was just a normal lunch at kap. and there were like nine dancers, excluding me of cos. thankyou specially to: sharon meisiew helen jiayi siying chit marianne estelle and liping!! WHEEEE. lovelove<3 it was indeed a surprise. lovelovelove<333

this will be the last time im updating till sunday! i will be going on board superstar virgo ;D quite excited though but meisiew says it's not fun. im going with my cousins! haha and i hope it wldnt be too boring, with my grandmother there restricting our each and every move ): but i think it would be quite cool waking up to the sun rising over the horizon. like i can see the ocean and everything. hehe kind of romantic ;D

tmr is friday! we're going kap! haha and for like the first time i think i will rush out of school at one thirty when school ends cos i have to reach home early for the cruise thing and we're like going kap. haha. and yknow last friday apparently i was going lot one with meisiew jess and helen, den we went out of school kinda early. den we were on the bridge we saw 67 so we were like running down the steps. and there were these three hwa chong guys who were kinda in our way den helen was so fierce haha she was like, what the hell and pushed here and there LOL and THEN! when we got onto the bus meisiew said one of the hwa chong guys is zhiyang!!! AHH i could have fainted there how come i didnt see! so we're going out of school onto the bridge again early tmr to try our luck. or rather, my luck. cos no one else seems to care as much. hahaha. but i dont think we can spot him again la. haha like not that much of a coincidence. maybe meisiew saw the wrong person. haha.

this is random, but i just realised that everytime i use my phone or sms or whatsoever, i will end up staring into my phone(: zhiyang's autograph is my wallpaper! ;D

your autograph makes me smile;

haha the second day of my sixteenth year old life ;D got belated birthday greetings and belated presents <3 haha.
-a nice shining belt from jiayi and jiayuan <33
-buttons earrings and necklace(?) from jess <3
-a really really sweeeet' teddy bear from nicole! <3 nicole suggests i shld name it ZHIYANG den i can hug it to sleep everyday HAHA it's a good idea though ;p
-a musical display thing from my sec one dance buddy genevieve! i cant believe u remembered! :D
-MNMs! haha thankyou(:

haha and i would like to say thankyou to xueen, marianne etc etc who wished my happy belated birthday haha thankyou lovelove! <3

and happybirthday to bingyu! youre eighteen! ;D haha with the coming of your birthday ends mine. haha but oh wells, my birthday's gone! now gotta wait for anothey year ;D thats what makes birthdays really special <3 im sixteen! anyone wants to smuggle into NC16 movies??? ;DDD I LOVE ALL SIXTEEN YEAR OLDS(:

i had the best birthday this year. haha besides everything i said in my previous post like getting zhiyang's autograph(!) and the presents and all, what makes it really special was the extent my friends can go to to make sure my birthday was a happy one. like the birthday cake for instance(: i was so touched. haha. and like the modern dance juniors who sang me a birthday song, i really appreciate you guys, each and every one of you, for coming over to my class early in the morning, a sec four class which i wouldnt even dare move close to when i was in sec two. haha, just to make sure you guys wish my happy birthday <3 haha and of cos, like how carin can go ask her friend for zhiyang's autograph specially for me so i would have a really wondeful birthday present.. i really really appreciate everything(: and also to every single individual who wished me happy birthday, thankyou so much<3

oh- you light up my life;

happy birthday to jiaying;the best birthday of my life.
SWEET SIXTEEN' ;D

i am really really really happy today! (:
this morning i reached school! and i got a SURPRISE ;D
the dancers were in 403! ;D
meisiew jiayuan junning hilary sang me a birthday song!
the song goes like this:
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to jiaying,
happy birthday to you!

then carin gave me birthday present! which is currently MY MOST BELOVED BIRTHDAY PRESENT ;D ZHIYANG'S AUTOGRAPH! ;D AHH SCREAMS! apparently he signed on this piece of beautiful green notebook paper
on it was written:
"To Jia Ying, (signature) Happy Birthday! :)"
i was so happy i could faint. his autograph went with me everywhere this morning, i cant bear to part without it. like i dont know what will happen to it right! what if it flies away??? uh! den i practically stared at it all day. trying to listen to the teachers, but oh well. staring at zhiyang's signature was certainly more interesting ;D HAHA carin was threatening to throw it away and shuhui says she wants to tear it into half AW. but of cos they were nice people, they didnt. now it's in my file! ;DDD THANKYOU CARIN <3 for getting your frend to get his autograph for me, cos you know i love zhiyang so much. and thankyou CARIN AND BUNNY <3 for running down to hwa chong yesterday afternoon to get it. and of cos, CLEMENT! for suggesting that idea in the first place. oh my, i dont know how i could thank you guys. i hope you know how much i appreciate your effort and for thinking of me and making my birthday so so memorable and fun and super super interesting and way cool. <3 people.

chit and meisiew arrived with my pinkk present HUGGS TO CHIT AND MEISIEW love the tryos.

then modern dance juniors arrived! from left, (as i remember) it was: trixie, yunyi, nicole, junning, larissa, theresa and ann! <3 i got my second birthday song for the day. i was so touched, that my juniors actually remember MY birthday. i really didnt expect it. thankyou guys i love all of you so much.

rachel lim gave me a birthday present! THANKYOU DEAR MOMMA i miss you! <3

helen came and gave me my second pinkk present. haha i wonder why pink oh well haha but what if i cant fit, helen! <3

sharon darling thanks for the card and the STARS bracelet, knowing i love stars* ;D

[stared at zhiyang's autograph throughout lang arts movie screening, bio and phys.]

PE! RECESS! i never thought an ordinary recess day can turn out to be so memorable. i was going to eat when anyi suddenly came to me and dragged me to this bench beside the swings besides the basketball court saying she wants to show me something then she says we're gg back to class yet she brings me to the bench and said she wants to have a heart-to-heart talk with me i was like huh? hurr! haha and then she suddenly says she has a stomachache she needs to go to the toilet and tells me to wait there lol i must say anyi can really impromptu ;D then she comes back and drags me to the benches by the clock in the canteen I SEE A BIRTHDAY CAKE!! AHHHH I WAS SO SURPRISED. it was so unbelievable! i haven had a birthday cake in eons. haha i was really really touched. turns out it was zouzhao anyi wanteng bunny eunice yijing huiping who got the cake for me. IM SO TOUCHED. AHH <3 ZOUZHAO ANYI WANTENG BUNNY EUNICE YIJING HUIPING! the cake was really nice. and there were candles! ;D i made a wish and blew the candles before they caught fire HAHA. zouzhao chose it! i was wondering how did she bring it to school. and to think i didnt even notice it. and i think it was still cool! HMM okay i shall ask her tmr (: haha then while they were singing my third birthday song, the rest of 403 at the canteen joined in I WAS SO TOUCHED <3 AW MAN.
but something rather unhappy happened later we uh got scolded for being loud OH WELLS. but we stayed happy ;P

after school. i went kap with wanteng anyi bunny jiayuan and yueyang! we stayed at kap talking and stuff till 615pm when jiayuan insisted we should go home. haha. and so, we went home. it was nice staying at kap till so late haha and anyi was saying today got no eye candy lol ;D

it was a really really memorable birthday for me. thankyou going out to all who made my sixteenth birthday so special. i really really dont know how to express my love and appreciation for all of you. thankyou so so much. and i did received alot of birthday wishes from people whom i did not expect! and it has been some time since i had a birthday song and a birthday cake! and and AND my most beloved possession my zhiyang's autograph! <3 haha.

okay let me thank everyone who wished me happy birthday(:
continuing from yesterday.
-yiyi
-tingwei
-shihui cousin! <3
-mummy
-jess! <3
-shermin!<3
-nicole! <3
-yunning! <3
-jiayi! <3
-hazel! <3
-KERRI all the way from shanghai MY DEAR. THANKYOU <3
-danhong! <3
-joanne! <3
-hongling cousin! <3

birthday song CHOIR;D
-meisiew! <3
-jiayuan! <3
-chit! truebluespasticTWIN! <3
-junning! <3
-hilary! <3
-trixie! <3
-yunyi! <3
-nicole! <3
-larissa! <3
-theresa! <3
-ann! <3

mymostBELOVEDzhiyang's autograph<3
BUNNY CARIN CLEMENT! ;D
and weng woh! for getting the signature from zhiyang and being willing to make someone you didnt even know, happy(:

thanks for the birthday cake(:
-wanteng! <3
-zouzhao! <3
-bunny! <3
-anyi! <3
-eunice! <3
-yijing! <3
-huiping! <3

the LOUDLOUD birthday song in the canteen ;P
-403! <333 I LOVE ALL OF YOU.

myFOURTHbirthday song at kap;
-wanteng! <3
-bunny! <3
-anyi! <3
-jiayuan! <3
-yueyang! <3

haha there are still people, tell me if i forgotten your name!
i swear it wasnt on purpose.
-shuhui! <3
-yifang! <3
-shermaine! for screaming happy birthday to jiaying at the canteen! haha <3
-corinna! <3
-bingyu! <3
-huifang! <3
-jieyee! <3
-rachel goh! <3
-junice! for feeling unjust for me that we got scolding in the canteen ;p <3
-tianjiao! <3
-tisiana! <3
-shirlyn! <3
-huiping from 402 though she dont know me(: <3
-haiwei! <3
-serene! <3
-qianying! <3
-jordan! though i dont know you(:
-yiyi my sister!
-jiawei my brother!
-shirui cousin!
-yaozhong!
wheee i can never thank you guys enough.

and of course, those birthday wishes from yesterday night.
-chit!
-ann!
-cheryl!
-yunyi!
-wanteng!
-shuhui!
-clement!
-casey!
-yuanchang!
-lijing!
<333!

wow. that was a long long post. i wonder if anyone managed to finish reading everything. haha now that i have blogged down almost every single precious detail, i can always remember my most beloved precious SWEET SIXTEEN<3
i love all of you who made my day special. THANKYOU SO MUCH DARLINGS<3

SWEET SIXTEEN;the best birthday ever

WHEEEEE ;D JIAYING IS OFFICIALLY SIXTEEN ;D

i'm happy! i love everyone who wished me happy birthday! ;D
MUCH <3 FROM JIAYING.
lets recall.
the last few hours of my fifteen year old life
chit, my truebluespastictwincumtryo! at 8.57pm cos she wants to sleep soon! <3
ann, at 10.19pm cos she cant stay awake any longer! <3
cheryl, at 11.48pm! <3

OFFICIALLY SIXTEEN .
yunyi, ~12am! my very lovely junior! <3
wanteng, an sms at 12am and who started counting down for me on msn since 11pm! MUACKS I LOVE YOU DEAR <3
clement, ~12am and starting talking about LEGAL SIXTEEN <3!
shuhui! ~12am who refused to wish my happy birthday at first my darling table part! <3
casey, 12.03am God Bless You Too! <3
yuanchang, thru wanteng at 12.25am! haha thankyou! <3
lijing! 12.43am, senior from 3yrs ago who has never failed to be there for me! <3

it has really been sixteen years, hasnt it? sixteen years. SIXTEEN. of life. of happiness, fun, laughter. of heartache, sorrow and crap. OF LIFE. haha it has been sixteen years! now i can watch NC16 movies HAHA. and i bet before long, i will turn into an AUNTY haha I DONT WANT ;D and next i will slowly evolve into a naggy old woman! so im going to treasure the time i have now! YOUTH, dont let it slip through your fingers ;D it's really really heartwarming to know people remembers my birthday MUACKS I LOVE YOU GUYS OUT THERE. and to SHUHUI who didnt want to wish my happy birthday! but did in the end! haha I <3 shuhui! and i love shuhui cos she told me to go watch channel U just a few mins ago cos ZHIYANG'S ON TV! ;DDD HAHA i <3 ZHIYANG wheee. YAY I LOVE EVERYONE ;D

MUCH LOVE GOING OUT THERE FROM JIAYING! OFFICIALLY SIXTEEN ;D

everyone click on this link! DAMN DAMN CUTE!

lian ai da ren ;D


ahh! watching zhiyang i feel like fainting! :D ZHIYANG SO CUTE! did you see the way he makes a face when they were like sorta ACTING on the stage??? :DDD haha i bet sin huey felt electrocuted HAHA ;D so cute! like flirty teasing so funny! wanteng and i were laughing like crazy yesterday when we were at mediacorp! haha damn damn cute ;D so versatile. thats one of the main things a superstar needs to hmmm! be? haha. he brings out the gist and the whole mood and everything of this song! when i first heard it by luo zhi xiang i didnt even take note of the lyrics just thot it's rather nice and all. but the zhiyang version is different! :D he made me realised the lyrics are so so cute! :DDD
YAY zhiyang is love. ZHIYANG IS LOVE <3 whee! ZHIYANG! haha im obsessed! but i like it! wheee ZHIYANG<3 !

haha im suffering from the ZHIYANG CRAZE ;D im totally in love with him now. i cant concentrate on anything at school! everything i think i think of zhiyang. and how cool and cute he is ;D and people all talking about him. haha everyone loves zhiyang <3 den we were like commenting on the lian4 ai4 da2 ren2 he sang with shi xin hui yesterday. HEHEHE. if he ever sings like this to me, i will melt. hahaha. thats what alot of peopel agreed! :D ZHIYANG FOREVER. yay i cant believe im actually going to see him next year. HWA CHONG! okay he's my motivation not to get kicked out of ip. ;p ZHIYANG YOU ROCK. THE WELL-DERSERVING CHAMPION OF OUR FIRST CAMPUS SUPERSTAR. WE LOVE YOU <3

ZHIYANG <333! OUR CAMPUS SUPERSTAR! :D we love you!

i was at mediacorp! and i saw everything! LIVE :D was with wanteng shermaine zouzhao zhuli and slyvia (: thanks shermaine! for giving me this chance to get to watch the finals! <3 I LOVE ZHIYANG he's so damn cool! :D and for the first half of the show renfred was leading in the audience votes TWICE! wanteng and i were so so freaked out we were like saying no no renfred cant win no it cant be true we voted and voted and voted AND VOTED M1 to 77377!!!!!! :DDD i think if my mom finds out im just going to die. but anyway. when they said renfred was leading again, wanteng and i just thought we were going to die. and the second song renfred sang was quite nice too! the one by wilber pan haha and his dance steps were really good la so we were so scared he'll win instead/ we were like saying if renfred really wins we will just go home. haha and YES, we voted AGAIN :D screaming our lungs out man. uh! den ZHIYANG WON over renfred :D DAMN HAPPY YOU CANT IMAGINE HOW RELIEVED AND HIGH WE WERE :D omg. haha. while theresa sang with junyang they were like holding hands throughout and junyang wanted to turn to the audience theresa looked damn obsessed la whats her problem? NVM :D continue with zhiyang!<3 he was so so cute during the song he sang with shi xin hui they were like acting on the stage haha damn funny! den shermaine realised hes cute! we were damn high haha we were screaming zhiyang zhiyang out of nowhere when the judges are talking den suddenly this 'zhiyang' came out hahaha oops but never mind the atmosphere and everything was so damn high :D haha then for the second round i thought he will surely win so i voted once more only hehe and yes! i was RIGHT. he won. singapore's first ever campus superstar<3

he was so damn good today. and can see he got so many supporters. like the live thing at hc haha alot of hc people but not many nanyang girls haha but oh well alot of nanyang girls support zhiyang! LIKE ME :D:D:D haha and it isnt just cos he's from hc like our future senior.. it's him. HIM. and the way he sings. oh man. i could just melt there right in my seat. haha and till now i still cant believe i saw the superstars live! and cant you believe it adriano's sister was sitting beside ME haha i took photos of her! so cute haha we were talking and she supports zhiyang too :D i saw ms sabrina too! haha we were screaming sabrina sabrina haha i hope she heard! she's such a hot dancer hahaha :D really energetic and everything. she was in all those items with dancers haha ms sabrina! :D

YAY. ZHIYANG youre our campus superstar. singapore's campus superstar. with your singing skills, you will go far :D JOB WELL DONE! i voted! and im really really REALLY glad my votes made a difference. in creating singapore's first every campus superstar. in zhiyang's life! :DDD imagine maybe if i didnt vote renfred could have won the first round! den zhiyang how! every vote counts. and this is the FIRST ever time i voted for any of such competitions. haha im glad it did something! MADE A DIFFERENCE :D im glad i didnt vote for nothing :D like. so much money can. haha. 10 votes plus gst and surcharge and is there service charge? and cab fare for getting there and getting back. ALL WORTH IT :DDD haha. now i got a superstar senior next year :D how cool is that! :D and i like what his friend over at hci live screening said, "zhiyang, hwa chong ting2 ni3" <3! DAMN SWEET :DDD oh man. haha.

ZHIYANG <333!